My Way Of Life…

The beat of my heart echoes, and the crimson tears flow
A heaviness clenches within, releasing my sorrow

I stand here, a witness, to the waking of a new dawn
envisioning how a child may have stood, her heart torn

Skies reflecting my grief, a deep shade of red
Unable to comprehend how they once must’ve bled

Time passing slower than my feet are willing to hold me,
An ache within urges me to set my mind free:

How does a father bear the loss of a child so dear?
How does a mother watch her child fight without fear?

How does an innocent infant see her uncle’s arms severed?
How do cold and brutal hearts not hesitate against the revered?!

Tell me Oh you who have been misguided;

How is a man of great compassion, who grieves also for the wrong,
Dismissed mercilessly by your ego, that you hold on to so strong?

Have you lost your sense of direction? Or your ability to perceive?
Your conscious has withered and left you, and yet you still believe:

This battle was won by you, and victory was delivered in your hand,
Is that not why you celebrated and magnified so grand?

While the truth known to those whose eyes of the heart weren’t closed
A strength was being nurtured and you’d soon be exposed

I call that strength ‘Aalimah, others call it Zainab, daughter of Ali,
By both names referred, a strength that sets Muslims free.

But you, oh misguided, have in reality lost and been defeated
The likes of Hussain, from you, they knowingly retreated.

Hussain is alive, as is the message, and those who follow
Through means of actions, and also our tears of sorrow.

Come see us in these days, when the cries resonate worldwide
Then oh misuigded, tell me, the winnings were handed to which side?

*It is these tears that keep the message of Hussain alive!*

How a deep sadness overshadowed my dream
As I opened my eyes and reminisced what I’d seen
On the blessed plains, under the scorching sun
I had sat as a servant, seeking Mercy from the One

Drowning in sin, soaked up by worldly desires,
I had pleaded Him to keep me away from the fires
In awe of His Might, His Love, and His Grace
I had conversed and confessed, and felt His Embrace

Was that not the land where forgiveness was guaranteed?
Was this not the time one planted a new seed?
Sought new beginnings, a more focused aim…
Promising not to be caught up in the world’s ugly game!

Oh but a dream it was, in reality I was far away!
But distance was no measure, this was still the day
No matter were I stood, no matter where I prayed
I could still ask His pardon for where I had strayed

So today I am here, praying my dream comes true
Next year to be standing, amongst the selected few
Having answered ‘labbayk’, reflecting on the blessed plains
On the land of Arafaat, erasing my stains

A want exists to be in such a holy place,
To be surrounded by His Mercy and overwhelming Grace
To witness His Power, His Awe, His perfection
To be given a chance at focused reflection

You pray and I pray that opportunities arise
That we recognise then easily and they make us alive
We continue our ways forward, changed from within
Striving to always remain free from sin.

The night I wept, it was not my eyes, but my soul that cried
Feeling, yet again, as though a part of me, within, had died

Surrendering to His Mercy, at His Threshold I arrived
Wondering if there was ever a time this part of me was alive?

Whether it had ever been, or whether it would ever be
Was far beyond what the ache of my heart could see

But hope wasn’t lost, He had promised me reason to believe
I knelt before Him on that night, begging to be one who receives

Such a night of power, a sudden calmness overcame me within
Was this where I had to be to cleanse my inner self from sin?

A thought echoed in response to mine, warning that was not enough
Repentance was what my Lord required, a process ever so rough!

Tears flowed, this time from my eyes, thanking Him for all I had
explaining to Him my inner desires, distance making my soul sad

Why had it come to this? Why had I let myself go so far away?
With fear I asked, was it possible to come back after being astray?

This, to me, seemed worse than cleansing myself of the wrong
Being far from my Maker, having walked away for so long

The worst of its kind, was in reality this daunting thought
The relationship I had severed, again tears I fought!

But this time those tears, eyes and soul together
Silently vowed to the Creator, to bring a change forever

Desperately looking for answer I turned to the open skies
A peace drifted through me, as if accepting my cries

That night I prayed to meet Him, if really I had been forgiven
If my slate was truly clean, and to His Grace I had been driven

The world’s living arose, with the coming dawn of a new day
I watched from above, while they gathered around me to pray

This time tears they cried, at the loss of me from their lives
If only I could show them; I had not left, but become more alive

Sometimes I wish I were among the birds,

From a view which has no spoken words

Looking down at the thousands of believers praying

Oh Mother…

As I see you watching over me, I only wish you knew,
That your tears over me, compared to mine, are so very few.

I feel estranged, lonely and distant, in a world not known to me.
One I’ve only heard of, through books and stories, but now with my eyes I see.

In the care of One Who loves me seventy times more than you, Mum
He’s taken me by my hand and Guided me, and towards Him I have come.

But what you are feeling at my loss, and my absence from beside you,
Know that I feel the same, an ache within, trying to grasp what is true.

I was trying simply, to be a friend, to one who was to me a friend,
Little did I know that this was my calling, and my life was at its end.

All I ask is that you pray for me, my journey forth from here is unknown,
Pray for me at every step, and that a clear path to me is shown.

If I could speak to you just once more, know I’d express my thoughts to you
But since I can’t, please console your heart till we meet again when time is due.

I love you Mum.

…In memory of a wonderful girl, Sabrina Alibhai, who always had a smile!
Please remember her with a Sura-e-Fateha, and pray for patience for her loved ones who are trying to come to terms with their loss…

When we sometimes sit and think of the generations above

We see they often interpreted differently the common link of ‘love’

Between siblings of all ages, sometimes a relation loosely tattered

Or in other homes, the strongest link, brothers and sisters mattered

I observe, I see, and I think to myself, how have I kept up with you?

Have you understand how much you mean to me, and that you are one of few?

Quarreled we have, and argued at times, but in the end it’s all resolved

For the bond we have, unique to us, will never come to dissolve.

Through our journey of life, our parents are there, but stronger than that is us

You and me, siblings for life, an inherent unbreakable trust

Little did I realise that when we all scatter from the foundation we called ‘home’

Without keeping in touch, even a text or a call, can make one feel really alone.

Despite where you go, and who you become, and how your priorities lie

You and I were the first to know each other, to laugh, to joke, to cry

And again as you progress in your life, and I progress in my ways

We subconsciously know that our relation only gets stronger with the passing of days.

But above it all, the urge to tell, and to let you know how I value this bond

To acknowledge  it isn’t like tattered cloth, but firmly linked above and beyond

I’ll call you from time to time, and text and email you to let you know that I care,

And when I visit you next, or you visit me, it’ll be like we’ve always been there!

So when the first one came, I said ‘this was it!’
I was sure the warmth would always last,
The ‘just right’ breeze and the morning glory
But it didn’t take long before it passed,
I claimed I loved, and this was the best
Neither extreme, but I spoke too fast…

Then came the second, and now I was sure
That this I admired, the shining sun,
The days had come to chill and enjoy
To spend time with friends and have lots of fun!
Convinced I was, that this is what I loved,
But again it passed, and this wasn’t the one…

Greens and yellows and reds, all in different shades
The third shortly after, showed colours so bright
Now I couldn’t be wrong, how could it be?
This was definitely the season that was absolutely right!
Every morning I awoke, eager to soak the autumn air
But time went on, and this dream, too, took flight…

Now I say with faith, that this fourth is the best
Shivering, shaking, but the scene is one to admire
The season of joy, is here for those who believe
Wearing layers of clothes, sitting closely by the fire
But deep inside I know, that this too will leave
Because the change of all four is the plan of the Higher

As each one comes through, it gives me reason to smile
so I sit and I think, that really I love all four
And as each day passes, and the seasons change their ways
I notice that the love grows even more
Today being bitter and cold, quite as expected
I better head inside to share this, as it’s about to pour!